day two and three combined (:

sorry, i already failed at this, i was sooo preoccupied with noah bc he didn't go to bed until 230 AM (i know right? crazy!) that i didn't feel like blogging.

- what are five things i'm grateful for today?
[one] not having a client so i could practice on miss kim with haircuts because after the disaster on monday, i didn't want to ever go back to school.
[two] some of the girls i go to school with talking me into picking up another pair of sheers and trying again!
[three] my son being the sweetest most amazing thing in my life. i still believe i'm living a dream.
[four] music. it seriously ties my life together.
[five] God, of course, because he gave me yet another glorious day to be with my son. [:

- what are five of my strongest strengths or positive traits?
[one] i've learned how to block drama out of my life.
[two] looking toward the positive and less on the negative
[three] caring/forgiving
[four] love
[five] faith in Him and other people. [:

- who are five people who love me most?
[one] my son
[two] my mom
[three] God
[four] extended family
[five] my best friends.

- what are five things i'm looking forward to in the next seven days?
[one] weekend with noah
[two] splash ministries on sunday
[three] hopefully working on my music video
[four]  passing a test on saturday
[five] warm weather.

xx-
hope

Priorities.

So, you ask me what it takes for us to get back together...
I say, "Well for starters, you need to get sober.."
Your response, "Well, never mind then."
My response, had you not cut me off,
"Well then you never really wanted to be with me in the first place.
I have a child, who needs sobriety. I don't think in order to live
you need to be high or drunk 24/7."

I mean..
That is just my opinion,
but I also believe that if you can't be sober enough to be in a relationship
with me and be sober for my child, then why would we get together.
I just don't understand.

I mean, you live your life.
And I'll live mine,
and that'll be that.

That brings me to my next point...
You hated that I go to church,
because you don't believe,
Well, that is one major difference in us,
and you couldn't even accept that we had a difference.
You would tear me down daily,
You would make fun of me.

So that makes me wonder..
Why should I take you back for how you treated me?!
I THINK NOT.


I just don't understand why it's so hard to be sober and like me?
I'm not that bad of a person.
I'm actually a really sweet person.
I'm definitely going to teach my son how NOT to be.
I mean, he already has someone to show him how NOT to be,
and that's because he's not even there for him.
Disowned him and everything.
How awesome are you?

I believe I can be the *best* mommy AND daddy for Noah.
He doesn't need someone who is going to pretend to like him
or someone who is in and out of his life
or someone who can't be sober
or someone who hates life.
someone who gives up..

He needs someone who is doing something to make their lives better
Someone who is willing to spend all the time in the world with him
Someone who loves him
Someone who would give the world for him!
Someone who will help him practice whatever activity he's in.
Who will sit there with him when he's having trouble with learning anything!

I just want the best for Noah,
and if it means doing it on my own,
then I WILL.

xx