wow.

i haven't blogged in a long time.
much to update... and much more to come soon.
and creating another blog tonight! [:

True Beauty

So, after I wrote my blog about self esteem, I came across a page on facebook called the True Beauty Movement. I want to write an essay and send it in. The topic is 'What is true beauty?'

I've been thinking a lot about this...

and I think I'm going to write it on here..
and then when I think it's good enough,
I'm going to send it in!!

But I believe True Beauty is...
who you are.
how you act.
how you love.
how you live.
what you do.
how you respect.

what do YOU think true beauty is?

I don't know about you..

But music is a life changer, mind reader, goal setter, amazing helping device.
Yeah, I ran out of '-ers' to add on to that.
I guess here lately, I've noticed more than usual how much life and moods are a part of how my day goes.

If I'm in my car, I'm pretty much going to listen to the radio or my iPod.
If I'm in my room blogging or something, I'll listen to worship music. It's my own time. My me time.
If I'm with Noah, it'll probably be something like Katy Perry or Mickey Mouse. How random right?
If I'm with my mom, well it's usually some reggaeton, or something like that.
If I'm in a sad mood, it's definitely Evanescence.
If I'm in my own world and ready to drive and listen to an amazing voice, it's absolutely, positively GREEN DAY. but I mean come on.. who didn't see that coming?
If I want to listen to anything that will calm my nerves and make me happy.. that isn't GREEN DAY. it'll be Brand New or Bayside.

I love the power of music.
How it makes your soul feel so free.
It makes you feel at home.
How, it takes you away to another land where you'll start dancing and singing.
You don't care who's watching you.
You don't know what is going on around you.
The world could be ending. But you're listening to your favorite song.
So you tune everything out.

I'll be completely honest here and say.
I never WANTED to like Justin Bieber.
I wanted to dislike him.
But my son liked one of his songs.
At 4 months old, he was watching the video to 'Baby' on tv.
He had a huge smile on his face.
Btw - He's almost 2 and still likes that song.
But, I knew all of the words by that summer, and my best friend was in the car with me.
That song came on, and I turned it up to the highest volume, sat at the longest light in history
And I sang it to her with all the windows rolled down. And by all, I mean, the only two that you could roll  down lol. She just sat there.. and stared at me. I was in the best mood though, because that one song came on, and I got to have fun and sing it as loud as i wanted.

There will be times that I am in a great mood, and all of the sudden I start listening to Evanescence and I get depressed. Which sucks because, I LOVE THEM. Amy Lee's voice takes music to a whole new level.

There will be times that I am so upset before church or something, and the minute we start worship, I am so into it that I don't want it to end.

Music is my key to life.
[besides my boy of course!]
What's yours?

self esteem.

Let me tell you a tiny story..
about a girl
who has always been over weight.
never been the prettiest one.
is a total dork.
keeps a few friends close.
who has been made fun of and laughed at on a COUNTLESS number of occasions.
she's shy.
she hates that she's over weight.
can't figure out how to fix it.
who feels like she will never find love because she's not pretty enough
or entertaining enough.
guys only want to use her for their pleasure.
and wants to be as pretty as all of her other friends.
..that girl..
well she's me.

i constantly look at all of my friends and wish i could be pretty like them.
i constantly wish i could find love with someone who at least thinks i'm decent to look at.
it's a battle i've fought since i can remember.
day care, baby sitter's kids, elementary, jr high, and even in high school.
i always had someone who made fun of me.
someone who made me realize i was not cute.

it's like.. no matter what.. i can't feel good about myself.
i see videos of myself..
i cringe..
"look at that ugly fat girl who can't do anything...."
"why is she so dumb.."
"she needs to figure out how to be cool.."

then i see pics other people have taken of me...
"ew.. why can't i have a pretty smile"
"ew. look at that ugly smile"

for a few months i felt so cute.
i had lost 2 pant sizes.
i had lost so much weight i was going to start working out
and i was going to get my belly button pierced.
i really felt cute.

no sooner did i think that, and i got pregnant.
i now face what many many women face..
but i feel so alone...
i face the ugliest stretch marks ever.
i see them and i just look at myself and say.. ew. you're disgusting.
no one likes stretch marks like that.

honestly..
i can't even look in a mirror with out gagging half the time.
it's really sad.

i pray about it.
but i don't think i sincerely pray about it.

i just want to look normal.
and i want to be pretty.

most of my friends say
"aw you're so pretty"
but i don't believe them.
because.. i mean..
they're my friends.. they're supposed to say that.
right?!

it's been a never ending battle for as long as i can remember.
i remember all my friends always being so cute..
and then me realizing..
it's not me they want to hang out with
it's so they can feel cute.
and i've always taken that and moved on.
never cared.

in sixth grade..
i was thrown in self esteem classes.
i had NO idea why.
NONE.

but lately.. i feel like i need to do them again.
because this battle has gotten worse..
i put on make up and i feel pretty ..
i look at the rest of me and gag..
i can't figure out how to change it.

sure.. lose weight
that's one step.

the next..
get rid of these ugly stretch marks..
I DON'T AND NEVER WILL BE ABLE TO AFFORD THAT.

i love my son.
i really do
and i SO don't blame him for my stretch marks.

trust me.

ugh.
idk..
i just want to be pretty..
i want to FEEL pretty
i want to BE WANTED.

idk what to do though.
idk how to change anything.
i just need help.

peace and love.
hope

Dancing in the Street.

This weekend I experienced something I hadn't felt in 4 years. 

It was the all time rush. 

The only drug I ever like to be on.

And it's the rush after doing a FLASH MOB DANCE in the middle of the street in downtown Noblesville during the street dance. We performed to "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz. LemonWheel did an AMAZING cover of it though!

The feeling I had during the practices were like.. 

"Am I ever going to get this?"

"Why do I keep messing up?"

"SMILE AND DANCE"

But when I was out there..

it all fell together. 

That night.. I was in the best mood. I didn't care how sweaty I was. I didn't care how hot it was outside. Because in that moment I felt so FREE. It was great! I can't wait to do something like that again! 

[:

Peace & Love,

Hope

The Fourth of July Glitter.

So you're probably wondering why I have my title as the Fourth of July Glitter?
Well, I will get to that reasoning in a minute, but for now.
I just want to tell you what a blessed day it was.

I got to wake up to a beautiful boy of course.
He may have been an über grump, but we got to walk in the Noblesville Parade.
We got the chance to walk with our church.
We got the chance to share with everyone in Noblesville how we Love God and Love Others.
I got to witness something amazing.
One person was trying to hand out one of our invitations,
and someone denied them.. her husband or boyfriend or maybe brother said:
"No - I would love one please, Thank you."
My mouth fell open.
I smiled
Told them both to have a great Fourth.
And went on.
It was nice to see that people aren't ashamed to admit that they love GOD.

Well anyways... that woman and whomever that person was that she was with just stuck in my mind.
I've been praying about them.
I hope that they find what they need in their lives.

Then, what made that parade even more special was hearing a ton of people ask where we were..
And a ton of people saying "5:30 Sundays? Hamilton Sports Complex? AWESOME!"

Well, after that long but awesome walk,
[seriously 1.5 miles!!]
I went back to my car with Noey, and my car just wouldn't work.
Normally, I would be so upset about it...
But I was just in love with how the day was going and how God was working,
That I couldn't.

My car ended up in the shop,
[everything happens for a reason right?]

Then, I had some sad situations happen,
but one of my best friends helped me through it with great words of wisdom,
I took it, and used it.

Then, I went with Noah and my Mom to see the fireworks.
As I was watching the fireworks, I just stared at them
I decided fireworks look just like glitter.
My whole body just felt amazing.
I felt like I was right where I was supposed to be.
I was doing what I was supposed to do.
And I just realized..
God was working through me to be a much happier person!

I can't wait to see where my life goes from here!


Love,
Hope

DIAMOND CANDLES!

For those of you that have followed me recently on facebook, you will know that all I've talked about is Diamond Candles.

If you don't know what Diamond Candles are, then I'll quickly explain! [: A Diamond Candle is made out of soy. They smell so good. Almost real in fact. Each candle comes with a ring in it. It can be priced anywhere from $10 to $5,000. That's the best part. The candles only cost 24.95 + s&h. I received mine almost 2 or 3 days after I ordered! How awesome right? They are a truly amazing company.

When I received my amazing box at my door step, I jumped for joy!

I brought it into my dining room:

 Literally. As soon as I opened the box, I

 could smell nothing but amazingness.

So I opened up each one slowly. 

look how awesome they are packed!

and voila! 

The blue one is called Sunwashed.

The Vanilla one is called Cupcake

The green one is called Apple Slice. 

The gold is where the rings are. 

They're nicely packaged. They're covered in a Wax, then a foil, then a plastic bag.

I didn't show that for whatever reason, but...

There is my ring! :D 

I'm in love.

No, My ring isn't real, but it still is sooo pretty! 

And I don't even like gold! 

Awesome right??!

Hope all of you have a blessed weekend!

xx -

Hope

family.

for some people, all they have is their blood family.
they don't really have friends.
and if they do, they don't keep them close enough to feel like family.
for me though, sometimes my friends are my family.
we don't fight as often, and when we sit down for dinner, we all enjoy and talk.
it's just weird how quick families can fall apart.
generally at the blink of an eye.

here i am, preaching about this, when i've only got the child part of my little family started.
we're just waiting for our other half. lol.

but, i guess what i'm trying to say is,
i'm glad for the blood family i have and the friend family.
i have plenty of friends i call sisters.
and that call my mom, mom.

it's pretty awesome if you ask me.
i like knowing that i can choose my family..

so meet the

[fRamily.]

[gretchen.]

[april.]

[ali.] 

[jackie.]

[eden.]

[carrie.]

[hope.]

[we don't have a pic together just yet.]

Newspaper Nails.

A friend from church introduced me to the coolest new nail art trend.

Newspaper Nails.

I looked up on youtube how to do them, because I couldn't remember exactly what she said.
And this is seriously the EASIEST nail art ever.

So, here goes....

MY FIRST TUTORIAL!

Materials Needed:

*Clean Nails

*Clear Coat Polish

*Nude Nail Polish or White Nail polish

*Rubbing Alcohol or Drinking Alcohol

[not for drinking]

*Scissors

*Newspaper

First you start off with a CLEAN nail.

Then, you put a base coat on to protect the nail.

I'm using O.P.I. Start to Finish.

You can use whatever you want.

Next, after the nail is completely dry...

Use a pale pink, yellow, etc color..

In this case, I used white.

I used 'Sinful Colors #1 Snow Me White'

Now, what I didn't like about this color or maybe the brand?

It was thick, but I had to use two coats of it,

it looked all ridgy and not smooth at all.

The second coat really helped.

But it takes 20 to thirty minutes to dry.

It gets kind of gooey

Now, you have to wait until the nail is COMPLETELY dry

[i'm impatient, and already did my other nails so, I'm going to use, RapiDry by O.P.I.]

Next, you soak your nail in alcohol.

Most people suggest 'rubbing alcohol'

HOWEVER

A friend gave me really gross UV Grape Vodka 

on Friday, and since it would never get drank..

I soaked my fingers in it! 

You soak your nail for about 30 - 60 seconds

Then you *IMMEDIATELY* put the piece of Newspaper on it

Let that sit for about 15 seconds or alcohol dries

This is what your nail will look like if you don't let it dry,

but the point of this picture really was the matte look before you put your clear top coat on. I put start to finish on again..

Here's a better picture of my nails!

this was my first go around with them, but I think for the first one it didn't turn out so bad!

Now, you try this at home, and you comment me or e-mail me pictures of your work and let me know how you did!

[:

hope.woolsey@gmail.com

xx -

hope 

single mother's day.

so sunday, as you all know, is 'father's day'

but i think it could also be known as yet another mother's day, but for all of us single mothers out there. i can't tell you how many people have told me that they're proud of me for playing mommy AND daddy. so does that mean that i can celebrate it too? even if it means *I* treat *NOAH* to something instead? i guess i never realized it, but for years, my mom played mommy and daddy too, but i never once thought.. "why don't i have a daddy?" i didn't care. i was perfectly content with my mom. maybe noah is too. at least for now..

but anyways, back to what i was saying.. would it be wrong for me to celebrate father's day as single mother's day? i mean, wouldn't it be okay to silently celebrate it? it's kind of like valentines day is singles awareness day, so father's day is single mother's awareness day and mother's day is single father's awareness day. lol. hmm... i guess until this year, i never thought of it like that.

sorry this is one big bowl of jumbled ramble.

who knows. all i know is i would LOVE your input on this.

xx
hope

waiting on my nails to dry.

i thought i'd do an update.
i haven't posted in here for about a week.

okay well really, about four days. but still.

lots has been on my mind.

i've been caught up in the thought of how ridiculous some people are.

for instance, right now, i am NOT looking for a relationship, i'm letting THAT relationship LOOK FOR ME! but what keeps finding me is the ones who AREN'T looking for a relationship, and they are looking for sex. well, let me just clear the books for all of you, i am not going to have sex until i am married. i know, i've already had a kid before marriage, blah blah blah.. but let's face it.. sex becomes a relationship ruiner in most cases. in fact, i can't think of one relationship that i've had that it hasn't ruined. i want to make sure that my relationship is based off of HOW WE FEEL about each other. it's just not fair. i've cried over too many guys who only wanted me for one thing. plus, i'm not having another baby til i'm married. sorry but raising one on my own is hard enough. idk how people who are single moms raise two or more. MORE power to them for sure!

i guess what i'm trying to say is.. i'm sick of kissing all the frogs... i'm definitely ready for my prince [:
[and yes, i know that noah is my baby prince, but i'm waiting for the other prince to come along]

xx -
hope

EDOPE.

It all started with two girls, one from Zionsville.
Named Eden.

The other from Noblesville.
Named Hope.

They both chose to go to Vincennes University, in Southern Indiana. Hope remembers seeing Eden around and thinking "That girl seems really kick ass!" Then seeing her again, and the girl stopping her to say "Hey, I like your dress." But they never said much after that. Until a day where a huge group of mutual friends were sitting at a table, and Eden and Hope happened to sit next to each other. 

Eden looked at Hope and said, "Hi, I'm Eden, and I'm retarded." 

And so began a beautiful friendship.

Hope invited Eden to a party at the fraternity house she was going to that evening, and Eden accepted! So Hope and Eden went back to their dorm rooms in Vanderburgh Hall and changed. When the two girls went out into the lobby to meet, they took one look at each other and laughed. They were both in MATCHING outfits. The girls went on a long walk to the fraternity house, and they started dancing to Shiny Toy Guns - Le Disko all the way down the street, and being loud and fun. 

Well, they didn't end up partying together that night, but over time, Hope and Eden became so close they became each other's other half. They began calling each other half, they also had crazy nicknames for each other like, Weirdy Butt McGhee and Butt Munch McGhee. They figured if they were halves, they made a whole. Which ended up as them becoming, EDOPE, fo sho! 

Eden needed a ride home for Fall Break, and since Hope lived close to Eden, they ended up meeting Eden's mom Angela at M-Plan. Which, coincidentally, BOTH Hope's mom, Nancy, and Angela WORKED THERE AT THE SAME TIME!!!! Crazy right? Well, then Eden went to Hope's around the time fall break was ending, and they hung out and had their first sleep over. 

Then they went back to Vincennes together. That's about the time that Eden decided to invite Hope on Spring Break. Hope accepted, of course. 

Eden had a Nintendo, and they played Donkey Kong. A LOT. They were pros. They're favorite character? Rhiney! He was the coolest Rhiney in the History of Rhineys!

Thanksgiving break was simple, Hope and Eden spent it together, and then Michael, [Hope's boyfriend at the time] came the night before they were to head back to Vincennes, and well, he was talking a lot so they hit him in the face with Turkey. So he was dubbed "Turkeyface" [clever, right?!]

Winter break, well they spent almost the whole break together. It was truly amazing. They had a Black and White themed New Years party where Hope's long time High School best friend, Ali, decided to take "water shots." So she was dubbed "Alephedora Watershots." 

[Edope, before the festivities began]

[Edope, at midnight]

[Alephedora Watershots]

That break, they also got a couple matching shirts while shopping with their moms at different times! They didn't even mean too. But then the girls went shopping together and they both got POKEMON shirts. Hope got a Pikachu one, and Eden got a Charmander one! Heck yahhhh!!!

After Christmas break, the two girls started to fall for two guys that were at the fraternity house a lot. One lived there the other visited. Eden started to date Ryan, and Hope started to date Kenny. Thus became the most awesome group ever. They always played beer pong together and everything. Shortly after the four started dating, Edope went on spring break to Jekyll Island, Georgia! Edope had a blast, they played the Juno soundtrack OVER AND OVER AND OVER. 

[Edope on their 8 am flight to Baltimore!]

[stitch and woobie on their flight with Edope]

[Edope matching as usual]

[Edope sunburnt]

Not too long after that vacation ended, Hope, Eden, Ryan, Michael, and Langdon went on a camping trip... A camping trip of dooooom!

[look how excited she is!]

[she's clearly excited too]

They were excited to see that the camping trip ended, and then came the end of the school year, and they were apart for months. Hope would come and visit Vincennes every now and then, but they were still apart, until the end of July/early August when Edope reunited at Warped Tour. 

They ended up rooming together that year in Vanderburgh. Although, they did not stay in the room together often, they were room mates. They formed an awesome BAND! Where they only wrote one song! But it was funny. They very few adventures that year, as they were very busy. 

Hope eventually moved away from Vincennes, and though, Eden and Ryan had moved up to Indy too, they just had a few misunderstandings and didn't hang out. 

Hope ended up having a little baby boy on October 14, 2009, named Noah. Eden and Ryan came to visit as a surprise to Hope, and she was very excited to see two of her absolute favorites! 

Eden and Ryan ended up moving back to Vincennes, just as Eden and Hope got closer again. So they continued their Edope-ness from afar. They always have reunions now. 

And, Eden, well she's the father to mister noey bean!

Edope has a reunion tomorrow, June 10, 2011, to go see THE BLACK KEYS! They are both very excited to get their stalk on! Be prepared for some fun awesome pictures. And because I know you're about to ask, THEY WILL BE MATCHING! <3

Eden is getting married next year to Ryan, and Hope is very excited for the both of them. Hope is the Maid-Of-Hotness in the wedding! How exciting! 

Do you have any friends that are like this?

xx -

Hope

i haven't done this in a LONG time.

I haven't done this in a long time, but I think this will be my last post like this, mostly because I keep forgetting to put this up, but I plan on setting up a three time a week thing JUST like this only it'll be different questions for each day that I do them! So here's to my last 5 things post! Thanks to all that have actually paid attention to this. 


- what are [five] things you are grateful for?
[one] my son definitely. 
[two] the people i have in my life
[three] God
[four] having a roof over my head
[five] being alive to see another day... 


- what are [five] of your strongest strengths or positive traits?
[one] my big heart!
[two] forgiveness 
[three] love
[four] strength
[five] caring [: 


- who are [five] people that love you most?
[one] God
[two] Noah
[three] Mom
[four] Family
[five] closest friends. [:


- what are [five] things you're looking forward to in the next [five] days?
[one] hearing back from paradise bakery 
[two] THE BLACK KEYS.
[three] edope, fo sho reunion day
[four] church
[five] hopefully getting the job so i can start school at qc school of wedding and event planning [: 

DAY 07 - Family Affair - Mary J. Blige

a song that reminds you of a certain event.

this song reminds me of my first dance recital ever. in seventh grade. hip hop. at curtain call dance academy. ohhhh man. i wish i could do this again!! if i could be on stage every day. i totally would do it!

xx -
hope.

the pros and cons

of not being "beautiful" "gorgeous" or "pretty"

pros:
* you're not the center of attention.
* people mainly ignore you.
* you don't have to worry about being hit on constantly.
* people could care less about have to say.
* you don't have to worry about having a boyfriend to TRY to be pretty for.
* you also don't have to worry about having a boyfriend to do something potentially embarrassing in front of.

cons:
- you're not the center of attention [except people make YOU the center OF attention with their JOKES]
- people mainly ignore you [until you do exactly what you want i.e. sing on stage or tell a joke because you'll be laughed at.]
- you don't have to worry about being hit on constantly [except by the creepy drunk guys at the bar/party]
- you don't have to worry about a boyfriend to TRY to be pretty for
- you also don't have to worry about having a boyfriend to do something potentially embarrassing in front of [they usually think that's cute.. except when you do it.]

MISSING!!

Honestly, I feel for this family! That is so scary. To think your child is safe in a different state, then, you come to find out your child is MISSING?! I can't even begin to understand how they feel right now. But, you know what scares me most? I lived three hours away from home a few years back, and I can't tell you how many times that I WALKED HOME ALONE, I guess I can say I'm very lucky. But, I am just hoping and praying that this girl can be returned back to her family safe and sound. Or that she is found alive and soon! This is truly scary. Life can be so normal one second and the next......... your entire world is changed! If Noah ever went missing.. I would be on a day and night search and never sleep until my baby was found. Or they would have to lock me in the loony bin because I would lose my mind. Either way, this right here.. is real life.. and all we can do is try and help look for this young woman and pray for the family! Lord, please please please bring this woman home safe and sound!! 

xx

Hope

DAY 06 - Back At One - Brian Mcknight

a song that reminds you of somewhere.

this song reminds me of my mom and i's first trip to st. pete beach together. i LOVED this song so much when it came out, and every time it would come on, we would turn up the radio. .......for the first day we were there..... then we tried to avoid it because it's all we heard. over and over and over. sometimes it was on three different radio stations at the same time! haha. but now, when i hear it, i just giggle because we had so much fun that whole vacation!

xx -
hope

Father's Day.

So, as most of you know, Father's Day is coming up. It's a holiday I haven't celebrated full on since the year I graduated high school. Things got weird with my, i guess you can call him, step dad the year after that.

My church is having a father-daughter dance this year, and honestly, inviting him made me feel really stupid. I'm just glad he gracefully declined.. even if he did give me a stupid look when I did ask. I made a joke saying, "I'll just dress Noah up to make him look like a daughter for you." It took less awkwardness out of the whole thing, but deep down it kind of sucked. I mean.. I never once had a real date to a dance, and being turned down by someone you USED to call "daddy" only made me feel more stupid as a human. My real dad, yeah, long story short.. he basically doesn't even know I exist.

Ugh. I just wan to know if there is a such thing as a good man out there, and if there are any.. why can't a normal good one find me? blehhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, for those of you that do have dads.. please recognize them on father's day. Let them know how much you love them, and let them know that no matter what, you'll always be their baby girl/boy. Treat them to a special dinner or go play sports with them. Whatever. Just honor them! Rock relationship or not, let them know you care!

And if you're wondering, yes, I'll go to the dance, and I'll dance with Noah, because I play the role of mommy AND daddy here! [:

What are your special plans for Father's Day?

xx -
Hope

DAY 05 - you're never over - eminem.

a song that reminds you of someone...

this song reminds me of one of the first girls who ever showed me what it was like to be a best friend or to have one. and we hadn't seen each other in eight years, but i had asked about her to a friend of mine who knew her too, a lot, and she i guess had been doing well from what i knew. i had been thinking about her a lot for like a week straight. wanting to go down and say hi to her and her dad since it had been a while.. then one day, i get a call from our mutual friend. saying "are you sitting down?" and i said, "laying down.. why?" and he said, "rene' passed away this weekend!" it didn't hit me until a month after the funeral, even seeing her i couldn't believe she was really gone.. but this song helped me through the whole thing. ]:

RIP Rene' <3

8.14.87

to

7.17.10

xx

hope

day 04 - LET IT BE - Across the Universe version.

a song that makes you sad

this song makes me sad because all of the things they show in here are all true events. and just the way they end the scene.. it's SO powerful and really sad!! but i'm glad our world isn't like this anymore... just need to work on all of the hate we have going on right now!!

enjoy!!

peace.
xx
hope